Community Mentoring – changing peoples lives

John & Anne Beer, Barnstaple, North Devon

Anne’s story

Anne and her husband John had always lived a very active outdoor life style.  Anne was a swimming instructor and has always enjoyed walking and John was a keen cyclist and also had a love of motorbikes.  Together they have always shared a passion for sketching and painting and have spent much time painting some of the many beautiful coastal areas of North Devon.  Their home is full of many of the wonderful paintings they have done over the years. They accomplished a lifetime goal in 1985 when they cycled 3000 miles around mainland Britain in 2 months, camping en route.

In January 2007 John suffered kidney failure and as a result now has to go to South Molton Hospital three times a week for kidney dialysis.  This has led to a huge change of lifestyle for both John and Anne which has been difficult to adjust to when they had been used to leading such active lives.  The change of lifestyle has been particularly difficult for Anne as she is now John’s Carer.  

Over the months since Johns kidney failure Anne noticed herself that she seemed to be gradually withdrawing within herself. John knew the impact of his condition was affecting Anne and actively encouraged her to have some time out.  

“I had noticed that things were getting a bit much for me and that I seemed to be withdrawing into myself.  I had got into a rut as I was doing the same thing every day and I couldn’t see any way out.  I knew that I had to do some thing about it and so I referred myself to the mentoring service.”

Read a touching poem written by Anne at this time.entitled "Carer's can't afford to be ill"

Anne was a member of a local art group because of her lifetime passion for painting and it was here where she was introduced to the Time for Life community mentoring service.  Mentor Ruth began visiting Anne and on her first visit they sat down and put together a list of goals for Anne to work towards.

Ruth explained, “Setting a list of goals to work towards is a really good way of seeing how much progress has been made when you revisit them a month or so later and you can see how many have been achieved.

At the same time we talked about what Anne wanted most and she told me that she simply wanted time by herself to go and walk her dog Maggie.  We quickly sorted this one out as I started picking Anne and Maggie up and dropping them off where they wanted to go for a walk and then a couple of hours later I would pick them up and drop them home again.”

Anne explained how valuable this was to her.  “It was wonderful to have that time to go for a walk with Maggie.  It gave us both a much needed change of scenery and I felt both stimulated and relaxed at the same time.”

Another goal for Anne was to go on a bus as they no longer had a car. Anne was very nervous about going on the bus and in particular taking Maggie with her.  

“It may sound silly to some people but I really was very nervous about using the bus but knew that if I wanted to start getting out and about it was a hurdle that I needed to get over.  Ruth and I first went on the bus trip to Ifracombe and we have since been on several bus trips together with Maggie and each time I am growing in confidence. I was thrilled the other day as we went to Lynmouth on bus and I managed to take some of my paintings with me as an Art Gallery there had agreed to display them on my behalf.

We have had some funny incidents whilst on our bus trips that luckily has not put me off.  On one occasion there was a group of young lads who were a little worse for wear on the bus, another time the bus broke down and we had to change buses and on another occasion the bus didn’t turn up at all!”

Over many years Anne had been sending a friend letters describing the many walks that she had been on and the various paintings that she had done whilst on her walks.  Anne had collated these descriptions and paintings into a book called ‘Looking forward, stepping back’. Anne has always dreamt of having her book published but as self confessed ‘techno phobic’ she had no idea how to go about it.

Ruth said, “We went to the local library so I could show Anne how to find out more about publishing her book. I showed her how to use a computer and how to access the Internet. This was quite a challenge for Anne but with a little push she gave it ago and is working on improving her computer skills further.”

Anne has recently achieved her Basic Counselling Certificate and is keen to help others who may be in the same situation as her.  “I would like to help others who are in the same situation as I was before Ruth came into my life.  I want to be able to listen to others just like Ruth listened to me.”

Anne explained the impact the mentoring service has had on her live.  “The mentoring service has changed my world around and I feel much more able to cope better with the day to days things at home now.  I feel cheered up and this is mainly thanks to Ruth who has been an absolute quiet tower of strength.”